1 ball1
1 whistle
11 testosterone raging men
1 large patch of grass
1 soccer manual


Take soccer manual and explain game to 11 men. Place ball in the centre of large patch of grass. Blow whistle. Within minutes you will see heat rise. Leave on field until black and blue.

Serving suggestion:

Whoever said soccer isn't a contact sport has never played before.

I can see the ball!... and smell it too!

Header. You're doing it wrong.

What a stud!

Karate Kid ball crunch. Wrong ball.

Painful since the 1950's.

There can only be one!