Meet Julius Malema. Claim to Fame: The World’s Biggest Douche Bag.

I visited Malema’s website (yes he has his own website *roles eyes*) and have taken these two paragraphs off of his homepage.

"It is widely know that woodwork is not one of my strengths. Call me controversial or arrogant, but my view of my personality is that of a confident African child who is not ashamed of who he is.

This will be my playground (yeah, I know some clever journalist thinks I'm immature and should get a sandbox -- this is it). – Julius Malema

First of all, “It is widely known that woodwork is not one of my strengths.” – WHAT? Is it ‘Let’s Say Random, Irrelevant Things Day’? Sorry, I must’ve missed the memo.

Secondly, when describing himself he says he is: “… not ashamed of who he is” – Well it’s good to know that he embraces being a dick. Having one, on the other hand is another story.

Thirdly, “… some clever journalist thinks I'm immature and should get a sandbox” - Come on. We all know that if someone actually got Julius Malema a sandbox, all he would do is complain that the same is WHITE! He would want to surround himself with BLACK sand. That’s fine with me – there’s black sand over there Julius, it’s called gravel… now go play in the road.

Okay, so Julius Malema is the president of the ANC Youth League. Tell me, when did the word ‘youth’ suddenly become race specific? I find it simply ludicrous that he can be president of the Youth League and show support only to black youth. WTF? Are white youth somehow not deserving of having a body which looks out for their best interests?

Hypothetical scenario time! Piet is an Afrikaans teenager. His dad is a farmer. Piet is going through that ‘who am I’ stage and doesn’t have that ‘I must stand up for my rights’ gene yet. He knows that South Africa’s governing body has a youth league and that’s good enough to know that at least someone out there is fighting for his rights. Piet turns on the TV after having a super emo day to find: “Kill the boer, Kill the farmer” – Julius Malema is leading the masses in song. WTF? The one group of people Piet thought had his back are now rooting against his culture; against his family; against his dad.

My point? If you are going to call yourself the ANC Youth League then either represent the youth as your title promises, or call yourself something else. I’ve come up with a few names which are better suited.

  • The ANC Racist League
  • The ANC Douche League
  • The ANC Take-the-spotlight-off-Zuma League
  • The Biggest ANC Joke League

I’ll be sure to email Malema with my list of suggestive names: an email which he will retrieve on an uncapped ADSL line and larney computer, which of course, is paid for with tax payers’ money.

Whenever Malema opens his mouth all that comes out is utter rubbish. As if Malema’s arrogance and constant contradictory statements aren’t enough to rub us up the wrong way, we realise the depth of his bullshit when he refers to himself as a 'working class’ African (meaning below middle class) – this is the man with the R3.6 million house and a bling watch that costs more than my education. Its time for a reality check dude.

“Kill the boer! Kill the farmer!”.Go to hell Malema, your buddy Hilter is down there waiting for you to drop the soap.

In true Daleneville spirit I've managed to sprinkle a little fun on the matter by posting some of the best Malema content I could find. Enjoy!